sippin' horchata

shirt - Nordstrom [The Brass Plum], skirt - Anthropologie, socks - DSW, shoes - DSW

Texts from the phone of Olivia

Olivia and boy

[ Olivia and Boy have known eachother for a while. This is a segment from their conversation, mostly on this topic.]

Boy- I dont understand why it's such a big deal.

Olivia- It's just weird!

Boy- How is it weird?

Olivia- This is the first time you've talked to me in months and all you want to talk about is my body? Thats weird.

Boy- If you arent comfortable with your body, what can you be comfortable with?

Olivia- Oh I love my body, I just dont want to talk about it with you.

Boy- Why not?

Olivia- It's hard to believe you liked me for anything but my body, when its all you can talk about.

Boy- Olivia, I already told you. I dont just like you for your body.

[Somehow, boy decides to move on, hanging out is discussed, followed by no response from boy.]

Olivia is plagued by a terrible stomach ache that started the moment the boy texted her. Wondering why so randomly he would text her, the next day she texts him again to find out.

Probably Olivia's worst idea.

Olivia- Hey, so I have a question for you, why did you randomly text me on wednesday?

Boy- I felt like it.

Olivia- Oh hah. I was just wondering if it had a purpose or not.

Boy- I wanted to talk to you.

Olivia- Oh yeah? But you never have wanted to hang out?

Boy- I didn't say that.

Olivia- Well then why didnt we

Boy- Because if we ever hung out I would want to do more than kiss you.

Olivia- Well honestly, you wouldn't get more. I'm not like that! and it's hard to beleive you about not wanting me for my body when you saythings like that.

Boy- Olivia, guys like girls bodies, its just a fact of life. I like you for a lot more, along with that.

Olivia- Well why is that all you talk about!

Boy- Its not.

Olivia- Well when you talk to me it is!

Boy- We havent talked that much!

Olivia- So why, when we finally talk, is it about that?

Boy- I'm sorry Olivia, Is it really that touchy?

Olivia- Boy, Its not touchy, Its personal. My body is my buisness and has nothing to do with you, does it?

Boy- Your right, Damn, I'm sorry.

Olivia- It's fine. Im going to sleep, goodnight.

Directors Comentary:

While this scene was occuring I should have stopped him right when he started. I shouldn't have texted him again. I shouldn't have trusted him so much the first time we met. I shouldn't have said yes to that date. I shouldn't have been an idiot. But, what good do 'what if's' do? After I told my mom what happened we were laying on my bed and she said to me, "When someone you trusted, betrays you like that, and decides your an object, it hurts doesnt it?". Right when she said that, right when I knew she understood me and I could never ask for a better mother, the stomach ache that I had been plagued with every time I thought about the boy or the situation vanished. Moral of the story, don't let someone else decide your worth. Whenever I feel like I am, I remember my young women leaders voice whisper in my ear after testimony meeting, "You, are amazing."

We all are.

turquoise

I had a thought today, that left me flustered into the evening. And while sitting by a campfire with people I almost knew it was that random thought, that kept banging on my head like a woodpecker.

Someday I'm going to have big bird cages at my wedding, filled with exotic birds like Toucans and Parrots and Parakeets and then when I'm married I will let them all out and then ride on a lion with my husband in Africa.

When I told my mother this at a reception later that night, she told me she would not be attending my wedding.

Then later that night, when I was sitting by the campfire, I said to my friend, "Maybe we should go on a walk." Then I just disregarded the thought. And then she kept bothering me. Saying, "We should go on that walk now, we should go on a walk." So then, when we went on a walk they said, "We should go back now, we should go back." What do people want with me?

Wanna know a secret? THAT WASN'T EVEN THE THOUGHT.

Follow me, if you want to know more.